Listen closely… okay attentively read the next few sentences, I am about to tell you the secret to success. Drum-roll please….. Ready? The secret to success is… selfishness. Yea I know, your parents taught you sharing is caring. And I know you think that you are showing you care when your friends are asking for favor and you’re the first to answer the phone call. We were taught to think selfishness is bad, that it means being uncaring. And often because we don’t want to be accused of being selfish we cave in and do things that don’t make us happy. For example, you want to nap, or eat dinner alone but your friends invite you to go out. And of course you don’t want them to think that you DON’T want to hang out with them, or that you don’t value their company. So you cancel your alone plans to make someone else happy. This is probably a minor example, as opposed to bigger scenarios that I don’t need to write about in detail (i.e. doing drugs).
Regardless of the scene, if you choose someone else over your own value, you lose. If you put other people’s happiness and worry before your own, you will never be successful at anything. You will never be happy and never get over your own self-flaws because you are so entwined to feeding someone else’s self-esteem. Putting yourself first may sound selfish but there is healthy selfishness. Putting yourself first just means you are learning to love yourself, you are finding out what you need to be happy and chasing it.
Being selfish opens doorways to a career path you wanted, not something that was chosen for you or pushed upon you. It closes doors that were opened just to tear you down. Healthy selfishness gives you a chance to really relax and work on yourself. To find time to workout and in fact practice self-care. Healthy selfishness is putting yourself first and establishing positive change to conquer yesterday.
Being selfish with yourself opens a new set of eyes, allowing you to see what really lies between the cracks of our frowns and what prohibited us from being great. Happiness comes from us living true to our core values and being who we were destined to be.
I am not saying to completely cut everyone off and never do anything for people. I am not saying to only do activities that will benefit you and forget about everyone else’s care. In fact there are activities that may require someone else, like playing your favorite sport, engaging in sex, or having a laughing moment with a friend. It’s a selfish moment to put aside differences to engage in a positive moment with someone else using values. What I am saying is to practice healthy selfishness to take care of yourself and pit yourself in a more positive position. So that you may be able to help and be a benefit to others.