Friendships &n Mental Health

Let me start with this…..Not everyone is meant to be your friend.

In my teenage years I wanted everyone to like me in order for me to like me. I wanted everyone to be my friend so I can feel accepted, with this I told everyone what they wanted to hear so I was on everyone’s good side. What I didn’t understand was that not all friendships are meant to last forever, and what someone values you should not be equal to how you value yourself. 

Friendships serve a purpose and then they may come to an end because friendships teach you about yourself. When you grow and better yourself, these friendships you thought would last a lifetime become toxic to your positive energy. 

It can start with small things like them telling small lies which at first can seem nothing but having learned to be honest with yourself you see the dishonesty in others. They may also no longer make themselves available to fully support you. Yet somehow they want you always available. -You can’t make new old friends. –

These friendships served a purpose of change and realization that now after growth you are better without them. For example, using training wheels on a bicycle. You trust you won’t fall until you learn your strengths and confidence to let them go.

Being someone’s companion is not only for company and laughs, if you haven’t noticed but to help us grow and inspire new characteristics in yourself. You ever see something in someone you don’t like and say “I would never do that.” BOOM! That’s you learning about yourself in a small detail.  So if I had remained friends with people who influenced me to not live positively then it would have become a habit just to live for everyone and not realize who I was.

Which leads me to say we need to appreciate the influence others have on us and the environment we are creating ourselves. Meaning if your friends with someone who makes you question your identity and hurts you. Perhaps they make you feel worthless or don’t encourage growth and happiness then they are TOXIC. 

You must diminish the friendship and that doesn’t necessarily mean let them go fully. 

First try to help them by talking to them and see if it changes. Try motivating them to see a better person and friend. But if that doesn’t work then the friendship has served it’s purpose and it’s time to let toxic go.

Some friendships have been around for so long it may not feel right completely cutting them off  but don’t be there 24/7. You don’t need their influence into hurting your mental health. The friendship has served its purpose in helping you shape yourself and now you must move on. Recognize that not everyone you meet is supposed to be your friend or lover but just a lesson to a better you.

Do what you need to do for your mental health and unfollow, unlike, unfriend them on social media if need be.  If you must end a friendship talk to them so you can both honor the truth and closure for years of a friendship. They deserve a why! Don’t move on with an ambiguous loss. It may hurt but take it as a lesson for a healthier friendship to come. 

“Some friendships just grow apart”.

Published by conqueringyesterday

A single Mom who has been through a tough journey. Wanting to reassure readers that they are not alone in a world full of pain, but that I can help journey with them to be a better person and find happiness within their selves.

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