Suicide Prevention

It starts with a knife to the inner arm or inner thigh, we don’t wanna die just yet but we wanna feel numb for a second. We want for one second to just focus on the inflicted pain instead of the drama or our mental health status. We want to ignore what others say about us, or what we say about ourselves. Once the knife or sharp object digs deep and cuts open skin, blood starts running down, and let me say it feels like a relief. Because for a split second everything was so intense, everything was so bottled in and once the cut opened it felt like our mind exploded. We become numb and with the help of drugs or alcohol we take, it adds to the numbness. Our mind isn’t focused on anxiety or depression at that moment. It’s focused on the released air we held in when we are so focused on cutting. But then the stinging of pain when air touches the blood makes us remember why we did it in the first place. The healing process after that is just another reminder of how miserable we feel and how unworthy of life we see ourselves as. 

Then we continue to allow these negative thoughts and negative memories from the past drown our happiness. We let out all this negative energy and it blinds us to believe everything around is negativity and we deserve it. We trick our mind into believing that even the light turning red when we approach it, is our fault. That if we would have left earlier the light would still be green. You see how little things like the color of a traffic light can influence our minds? You may be thinking: ‘no one thinks like that’ or ‘You are over exaggerating’ but believe me when I say that when our mind takes over and our depression starts to win EVERYTHING… EVERYTHING affects our look on life and ourselves.

Let’s continue the scenario. So we have already drowned in emotion, and despair because we don’t think that things will get better. Life has thrown obstacles at us that we don’t seem to overcome which just adds to the list of reasons we shouldn’t exist. We shifted our mind from believing nothing will get better to why should it, if i’m still alive. And that is when we start the suicide thoughts. Our first attempt may not be successful because of our nerves or we didn’t take the correct amount of drugs or alcohol to succeed. But that may not help the situation to be reevaluated, instead it adds to the pain where we may want to try again. I know because that scenario was my story.

Every 40 seconds at least 1 person dies. So that means that by the time you finish the last paragraph AND this sentence at least 1 person has died. But why? What can we do to prevent it?

The number one reason why people commit suicide is because of depression. Severe depression is always accompanied by the sense of hopeless and the belief that the only way to escape is through death. The thought of existing becomes heavy and a motive to commit suicide. Most of the time people plan it quietly, so no one can talk about it and no one knows.

Another reason would be someone’s mental health may be psychotic. The voices in their head aren’t from mediation but an actual illness. Psychosis can be treatable but is easier to mask than depression. Oftentimes drugs and alcohol can push the feeling to end their life so yes drugs and alcohol play a role. Sometimes it’s a cry for help, many people don’t wanna die but don’t know how to speak out about what they are going through. 

 They aren’t asking for attention but they may not really know how to ask for help. For example, “a young teenage girl suffering genuine angst because she feels lonely or has gotten into a devastating fight with her parents, may swallow a bottle of Tylenol—not realizing that in high enough doses, Tylenol causes irreversible liver damage. I’ve watched more than one teenager die a horrible death in an ICU days after such an ingestion when remorse has already cured them of their desire to die and their true goal of alerting those close to them of their distress has been achieved.” says Alex Lickerman M.D..

Lastly, a reason which isn’t rare is because they made a life mistake and feel that death is the only way out. Being in an abusive relationship motivated me to feel that choosing this man to love was a mistake. One I couldn’t take back and I had already felt judged. I felt that this was my fault, I had chosen this life and couldn’t escape. The only way to escape was to be killed or to kill myself. 

But of course, as alive as I am writing this blog; I can tell you that death is not the end result. 

If you or anyone you know is going through depression or having suicidal thoughts please seek help. Be support to someone who feels trapped and hopeless. Some signs to identify a suicidal person are: Withdrawing from loved ones, increased use of drugs or alcohol, or seeking revenge. Sleeping constantly or staying up to over analyze situations are other signs. 

If you noticed these signs or other suicidal signs in someone, ask them or call 911 if they seem to be in the midst of their crisis. Listen non judgmentally, encourage them and give them affirmations to have hope in another day. DO NOT GIVE ADVICE. Instead just hear them out and care for what they say, that way you hear the root of their suicidal thoughts. Give reassurance and encourage them to seek professional help. You may not fully understand them but in their eyes, you have given them a shoulder to lean on and a friend they need so dearly right now.

I looked in the eyes of my son and thought, “my world may be crumbling down but yours is just starting to be built. I will not ruin your world because mine isn’t up to par, instead I will heal and put a band-aid over my world’s scars just to help you create a beautiful and successful life.” My reason for living may be the same for a lot of single mothers but to those who don’t have this reason listen closely:

If God hasn’t ended your life yet that means you have a purpose. You lasted this long because you are worth something. You may not see it now but in due time you will find it. You just need to heal and see through the piled up negativity. Now is your time to shine, you survived death and survived hardship so live your life! You are strong even when you think you are at your weakest moment. You are much more than your opinions of yourself. Don’t end your story yet, live to write another chapter and help someone else write theirs. !

800-273-8255 is the Suicide Prevention Hotline where you can call if you or anyone you know are having suicidal thoughts. If you do not feel comfortable talking on the phone, you can also chat with a live consult at

Taking Care of Your Spirit Sexually. (II)

Part 2: Cleansing Your Spirit

If you see yourself in a constant state of sadness, guilty consciousness, you are bonded to your person in several unhealthy energies. When you then feel the need to leave them or distance yourself, you realize that something doesn’t sit right with your spirit. Why? Because we wouldn’t want to let go of something that brings us happiness and peace. 

Cleansing your spirit can be an emotional journey. You are in fact releasing all bad vibes and practicing self care. It is basically like finding yourself all over again.

Some believe that aromatherapy helps calm your senses, the same therapy happens with Epsom salt. I personally have never tried it but it is believed that adding this salt to a bath water enhances energy flow and draws out minor psychic debris from your aura. I do personally add lavender oil, or peppermint bath bubbles to my bath water which helps me realign my focus and meditate. I actually think this does release the negative energy to invite the positive, mind calm vibes.

Which brings me to my next tip, meditating helps channel your inner self. This can manifest your true identity and let go of all that wasn’t you or positive in your energy. For more information on meditation go and read my post on it!

Prayer is a big help, go on and connect yourself with God and allow him to cleanse you. Let him heal your pain and your energy. Tell him your personal convictions, and allow him to cleanse your spirit

I have learned that people use sage, and incense to clean the air and clear the energy. Cleaning your outer aura, inhaling those herbs can clean your inner self. 

Most importantly practice self care, go back and read my post on self care to start this journey of being a better you. 

Taking Care of Your Spirit Sexually (I)

Part 1: Understanding the effect sex has on your spirit.

Did you know there is a difference between spirit and soul? The soul is basically your conscious, it is “the animate in life, or the seat of senses, desire, affections, and appetite.” (Compelling Truth, 2020). While the soul is what connects us to God. If you aren’t religious – your spirit is what connects you to the ‘energy’ of the world. It is the “essence of a living being”.(Wiki, 2020).

Now that you know the definitions, understand that we commonly lean to sex for pleasure, ignoring the spiritual development. We aim to please our ‘needs’ and ‘desires’, and often with multiple people. Which can eventually become harmful and depressing. This also starts an initiation of a soul tie. See the correlation yet?

Let me simplify it to the best that I can. Sleeping with someone who is toxic,and negative will eventually transfer to your spirit. Causing you to become negative and toxic. Have you ever been romantically involved with someone who is aggressive, and then months after you notice that you showed the same aggressive signs to something that months before were irrelevant? You basically inherently embodied their behavior. 

The objective is to keep your spirit clean, healthy, happy and ultimately at peace. Because your spirit is you!

You psychically are giving yourself to someone for an emotional/inner feeling/spiritual connection. With this said you are playing with your spirit and creating a soul tie. Please know that Soul Ties do not only occur with sex but it can also be created with your children, friends, peers etc.

Try to understand that when you engage in a sexual relationship with someone you two become one. You are giving them a piece of you and they are giving you a piece of them. In fact during sex you release a hormone called Oxycontin, “the bonding hormone”. It produces the feelings of affection and belonging. (The same hormone released when a mother breastfeeds, or when we hug and kiss others) This hormone increases the emotional attachment, and energy transfer. When you break up with them you still have that spiritual bond.

When we hang out with a friend and we sense a negative or positive energy (vibe), it almost immediately affects our vibes. Influencing us to be just a negative or positive. For example, lets say your friend is excited and just joyful or they are heart broken and in despair. We quickly feel just as joyful because the vibe is just that. Or we feel sad too because the energy around isn’t cheerful enough to smile. Through all this a deep connection is still being made, and you are creating a relationship or “bond” with this person.

The same happens during sex, their energetic vibes during intimacy entwines yours. Essentially creating a soul tie. Having multiple connections with people your spirit, in other words your aura becomes confused. Because it begins holding on to multiple energies, and characteristic behaviors.

When your partner is loving, affectionate, caring and happy. You absorb those energies, allowing you to also be just as loving and happy. During your climax of sex the body leaves a emotional imprint of sexual addiction. Wanting you to be intimate with them more than once. This affects your spirit to receive these energies multiple times.  When you have multiple partners, sleep with someone whose energy isn’t equal to yours, you create a flurry of mixed emotional signals that imbalances your spirit. This imbalance eventually leads to physical sickness and emotional damage.

I am not saying to go force your partner to change so your spirit can be happier, because it is your spirit. And if you haven’t cleansed your spirit you may still have energy from a past partner.

When your soul tie started off negative, meaning you were entwined with a toxic abusive person or someone negative you may notice the following about yourself. You become depressed and angry more often. What used to sound fun now sounds dangerous or boring. You have become a spiritual sponge to their energies so any negative actions you may have noticed from them may start to appear in your actions as well. Without them near you may feel unwhole. You may feel scared and alone or as if your life just isn’t complete with them. That last fact happens even with someone positive and fulfilling in your life. To know the difference ask yourself if this person if they refuel or heal your spirit? Do they bring happiness or drain your happiness?

Check out part 2 to find ways to clean your spirit.

Check Yoself Fool

Check it.

I hope you enjoy this audio as much as I did . I sometimes get camera shy or use my hands so much to talk and it often distracts the purpose of me saying what I want to be heard.

I hope you also evaluate your life accordingly and surround yourself with people who truly love you and want to see you win. People who want to see you overcome anxiety, depression or any mental health battle. Change is so hard for some of us. But often times change needs to occur in order to get further in life. Change in our circle and who we allow ourselves to sleep with needs to happen to live a more peaceful and happy life.

Trauma Vs The Brain

When you go through a traumatic event or loss, the brain has a way of just blocking it off. It is the brain’s own way of surviving the trauma. Then you start to have small random memories, you try to put together the pieces which trigger the brain to remember the event. Once these memories are triggered to the brain, the body also starts to feel the pain. You may also experience lack of concentration or attention. This is due to your thinking center being slowly deactivated because of the trauma creating more noise in the fear center of your brain. Or what’s called the amygdala, the fight or flight area of the brain. 

Here’s where it gets confusing, sometimes a breakthrough in our life feels a lot like a breakdown. This is because we don’t recognize the good change, we don’t recognize the progress occuring. You may see it as a red flag and a breakdown. In reality you are remembering, growing and healing from this pain. When you experience a trauma the chemical balance in your brain is thrown off and just becomes accustomed to this new balance. Then when you start to face trauma your brain is confused because now it has to rebalance itself. Which creates anxiety and triggers depression. 

I write all of this because there is a scientific reason as to why you feel certain ways during situations. The same with aromatherapy, certain scents trigger certain emotions. In the process of overcoming anxiety or taking care of your mental health in general we need to find the root of the triggers. What causes these episodes or what is the truth behind the lies we confuse our mind with?

By starters we should make a list of the times we have fallen and why. Make a list of all the times trauma and toxic relationships ruined your happiness. Get to the root of your triggers. Be sure to add a body-based, and mindful-based technique to your daily routine for example, meditation. This starts to deactivate the fear center in the brain, it starts to heal those open wounds and begins strengthening the thinking part and emotion regulating center. A breathing exercise during meditation helps with this as well. Strengthening the emotion regulating center of your brain includes letting go of some annoyances and learning how to manage your emotions. 

Healing takes time, effort and repetition, you are basically restoring the wisdom and strength to your body and mind. Be gentle with yourself and be patient. Write it down all down in a journal and watch how you can actually become in control of your mental health. Watch how you can conquer yesterday.

Friendships &n Mental Health

Let me start with this…..Not everyone is meant to be your friend.

In my teenage years I wanted everyone to like me in order for me to like me. I wanted everyone to be my friend so I can feel accepted, with this I told everyone what they wanted to hear so I was on everyone’s good side. What I didn’t understand was that not all friendships are meant to last forever, and what someone values you should not be equal to how you value yourself. 

Friendships serve a purpose and then they may come to an end because friendships teach you about yourself. When you grow and better yourself, these friendships you thought would last a lifetime become toxic to your positive energy. 

It can start with small things like them telling small lies which at first can seem nothing but having learned to be honest with yourself you see the dishonesty in others. They may also no longer make themselves available to fully support you. Yet somehow they want you always available. -You can’t make new old friends. –

These friendships served a purpose of change and realization that now after growth you are better without them. For example, using training wheels on a bicycle. You trust you won’t fall until you learn your strengths and confidence to let them go.

Being someone’s companion is not only for company and laughs, if you haven’t noticed but to help us grow and inspire new characteristics in yourself. You ever see something in someone you don’t like and say “I would never do that.” BOOM! That’s you learning about yourself in a small detail.  So if I had remained friends with people who influenced me to not live positively then it would have become a habit just to live for everyone and not realize who I was.

Which leads me to say we need to appreciate the influence others have on us and the environment we are creating ourselves. Meaning if your friends with someone who makes you question your identity and hurts you. Perhaps they make you feel worthless or don’t encourage growth and happiness then they are TOXIC. 

You must diminish the friendship and that doesn’t necessarily mean let them go fully. 

First try to help them by talking to them and see if it changes. Try motivating them to see a better person and friend. But if that doesn’t work then the friendship has served it’s purpose and it’s time to let toxic go.

Some friendships have been around for so long it may not feel right completely cutting them off  but don’t be there 24/7. You don’t need their influence into hurting your mental health. The friendship has served its purpose in helping you shape yourself and now you must move on. Recognize that not everyone you meet is supposed to be your friend or lover but just a lesson to a better you.

Do what you need to do for your mental health and unfollow, unlike, unfriend them on social media if need be.  If you must end a friendship talk to them so you can both honor the truth and closure for years of a friendship. They deserve a why! Don’t move on with an ambiguous loss. It may hurt but take it as a lesson for a healthier friendship to come. 

“Some friendships just grow apart”.

Block ’em

‘I don’t know who needs to hear this but….’ Blocking someone is part of self care. Blocking someone is a part of growing. Yes, blocking someone on social media, on your phone and your LIFE. Go on and say “I don’t wanna block them, I wanna let them see the growth and greatness” <- that is TOXIC and PETTY. You are still making yourself available to these people. You are still consciously telling yourself that they are watching, so you push yourself to “grow” so they see it. You now post photos only smiling, even if it’s fake so they think you are happy and doing better than them. In reality you are doing great for them and not for you. For what? For them to continue talking negative and hate on YOUR true potential to GREATNESS. Just an un-follow isn’t enough.

 Lets overview the reason why we shall block and cut someone off. For starters the thought of cutting someone off comes shortly after a RED flag or after they hurt your feelings and did you wrong. This person either insulted you or brought a bad vibe around you. They tried you! Or they saw you improving, smiling and tried to bring you down. Once this thought of cutting someone off comes to mind, go on and do it! Do not think twice! Your instinct, your conscience, your gut is telling you to let go and you must. Why? Because if you hold on to bad vibes, you will procreate bad vibes and only bad vibes will be in your aura. So to establish a happy, positive life you must surround yourself with those who think the same. You must only show positive posts on your timeline. You do not see business people hang out with others that are lazy. Lets be friends with those who have the same growth mindset and block those that only want to see us fail.

Yes there are some people who feed off your failures, and find excitement in bringing you down. Don’t make yourself available to someone who doesn’t bring you good. Do not let them contact you the second you smile only to bring the worse out of you. You do not owe someone who continuously brings negativity anything! Do not worry about what they will think because some people quickly think you blocked them/cut them off because you are petty. Or you are intimidated by them. Do not allow these trolls to ruin your mental health. 

Prioritize yourself! I use self-care a lot but it’s because if we don’t love ourselves first, if you don’t put yourself first who will? Self-care means the preservation of mental peace. How else would you have complete mental peace if you are constantly looking over your shoulder to see if so and so is watching you still. 

So block the racist that don’t support what you believe in. Block the ex that broke your heart! Block the person who seems to spread fake news about you. Block the person that doesn’t bring good vibes and happiness to your life. At the end of the day, it’s all about moving forward to a better tomorrow. This is your life, you get to control who you want to experience it with.

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