Society builds a timeline for the life you are supposed to live. Go to school, get into college, get a career then find love and get married. Once married it’s when you are allowed to have children. Society does not acknowledge a woman who stands alone, without a man to lean on. Or a man is not complete without his lover by his side, someone HE must PROVIDE for and be a PROTECTOR to. Our past ancestors have a way of living, that if not lived how they see fit we may not get an inheritance or be seen as a failure. Am I pushing a nerve yet? I’ll keep going…. Social media’s algorithm shows posts repeatedly that have been VIEWED more than ten times and LIKED hundreds of times or you have visited the profile more than once. (Reason why some folks never appear on your timeline) It can be a picture of a “fit” female with curves like a barbie doll. Her hair is at a length that seemed beautiful and wearing exceptional makeup. Yes your timeline will show similar posts that you have shown interest in but the second you google “how to lose weight” you automatically see posts related to weight loss and the “perfect image”. All through what you have read and the endless times you didn’t feel of value because your life isn’t in the timeline or your body isn’t considered picture perfect…...
Let me tell you right now …. Quit your conscious from thinking you are not worthy. Because you are. ! It is okay if you had a child out of wedlock, that single parenting just shows how strong you are to have done it ALONE. Graduating college after years of not having gone back just shows you aren’t a quitter. And if you never went to college… that is PERFECTLY FINE TOO! You have found your purpose on the other side of the books. One thing we need to learn is how to calm our mind from starting a riot from what society sees as a good person, or beautiful. Because you are beautiful however you look, in whatever you do. You are unique in your own way.
You do not NEED A MAN, because society tells you that you need one or it will make your life complete. Yes a lover is nice and provides comfort and pleasure but it is not needed to become successful. Society pressures you into believing that not only does your life have a timeline of events needed to be done in order, but that it needs to be accomplished at certain ages.
I graduated high school and started college but didn’t finish. I worked at a school (my dream career at the time) then started waitressing, moved our my own and yes I had sex before marriage, and a child out of wedlock. I left the father of my child and moved on my own, then back with my parents. Then again moved out on my own…I got a bunch of tattoos & piercings (which were frowned upon by many) it wasn’t until the age of 25 when I decided it was time to go back to college. My son is now 5, I am living with the love of my life, and still going to school, and guess what? I own a business! My timeline was a mess but in the end I am happy, and living my best life.
You already apply pressure on yourself to be great, there is no need to add pressure from society too. Do not use the life of others as a guideline for yourself either. Your timeline is your own, no matter how messed up or different others may see it as. It’s okay, you will turn out okay! Write your life how you see fit, and learn from mistakes. Everything happens for a reason and you can always see them as lessons. The reason why I push loving yourself so much is because before anyone can love you for you, you need to love yourself for you. You need to be your own back bone, you NEED YOU! Who else is going to care about your life if you don’t care of your own.
Which leads me to say, you don’t need anyone's approval to the limits of your happiness and success. You are free when you can be you. You don’t need to be accepted by others, you need to accept yourself.