|I thought that Postpartum depression was just a mental myth. Mental depression where the mother who just gave birth has a hormonal imbalance, or she doesn’t know how to handle a baby, so after a while she gives up. Until I had a baby, and went through it myself.||
I wasn’t bonding well with the baby, at first I thought I just couldn’t produce milk to breast feed since he wasn’t latching. My anxiety became a little uncontrollable, and I started feeling like I could never be a great mother. Every time he cried and I didn’t understand, I felt worthless.
After research, I found that hormonal imbalance does come to play. Postpartum is a mixture of stress, uncomfortable thoughts about physical changes and upsetting feelings of just not knowing what to do. It is an intense development of the "baby blues". If you are a new mother, old mother, or mother to be, I am letting you know IT’S OKAY TO FEEL THIS WAY.
Some mothers experience it worse than others, and if so, seek medical help. If you find yourself becoming delusional, experience hallucinations and worse if you have suicidal thoughts seek help.
Some ways to personally cope with it are:
Create an attachment to your baby: Yes that means, baby your baby. When they cry, quickly pick them up and soothe them. When they laugh, make sure you are kind and laugh with them. Become in sync with your baby, cuddle and sleep when they do. Of course you won’t be babying the baby their whole life, but long enough to create a bond with them.
Get a support system: It is really hard to get help and depend on others, especially when it’s just you and the baby. But look into other mom groups, or family members, people that can hear you out and give positive feedback when you need it the most. I myself experienced the depression, so I can be a support if you’d like :)
Take care of yourself: Sounds Repetitive I know! But self-care is important! Take care of your child by taking care of yourself. Skip house chores for a day and take a bubble bath while the baby sleeps. While pregnant you ate healthy and exercised enough so that the baby was healthy, continue that tradition for yourself now. Practice mediation (go on and click the link for it :) and get some sunlight!
Make time for your partner: If you have a significant other, find a babysitter and go on a date. Have a sexy night and bond with your partner. Keep the line of communication open with them, many things change following the birth of a baby. Separate childcare responsibilities and household chores as well, so you both are just involved with your baby. And if you are a single parent with a partner, be sure to still find time for a movie. You too need some lovin’
Further help includes; therapy, antidepressants, or even hormone therapy. ALL with medical help of course. See a professional who can diagnose you and provide appropriate medicine.
If you know someone who is going through a postpartum depression please encourage them to speak about it. Most of the time they just need a lending ear or a hug. Offer to help be the support they need (i.e. help with some chores or grocery shopping). If you’re her partner be patient, she may not be ready to jump right into sex! She may not be able to say exactly what she is feeling when she is feeling it, so give her space to accept it and allow you in her space.
All in all, if you or anyone you know is going through postpartum depression do not feel ashamed, but instead find the right ways to cope with it. It’s certainly isn't an easy thing to go through but know that you aren’t alone! I can be your support too :D . Click the contact link and reach out !