There are many cases where we try to avoid dealing with certain parts of our lives. Subconsciously we erase that part of our lives trying to protect us from accepting the truth or we refuse to admit that we went through something wrong. I for one have never sat and digested or mourned the situations that impacted me negatively. That right there is a sign of denial! Here are 5 signs you may be in denial.
1. You avoid talking about the issue.
When someone brings up an event that happened around the same timeframe that your negative event occurred you change the subject. You avoid certain questions or conversations. Sometimes you may divert the conversation with humor.
No matter how you avoid talking about the issue, you are in denial. Rather than avoid it, face it head on. Talk about the situation and dissect the problem. If you can't figure out why it happened, at least figure out what you could learn from it. Or how it has changed your life both negatively and positively.
2. You compare the behavior of others to yours as evidence that you don’t have a problem.
Oftentimes you bring up how someone else's addiction or traumatic recovery is harder than yours. You use that as an excuse to say “Because they do this/feel that and I do/feel less than that. I am fine”. This is denial, accept and own up to your actions instead of belittling them to seem minor.
3. You promise your future self you will handle it.
Admitting that you need to heal or need to work on yourself is one thing. Step 2 is to actually work on it. NOT say “I will get to it later” or “Next month i’ll start”. Stop putting up excuses and get to it. Start the process now and see how the journey of bettering you or changing past habits evolves.
4. You blame others mainly and not yourself.
There are moments that weren’t in our control, where we couldn’t avoid traumatic events occurring. But we can’t keep blaming others for the situations we continuously put ourselves in. There are times we know we shouldn’t be there, shouldn’t have said certain things and still blame others for “making you do it”. Swallow the pill and own up to your wrongdoings.
5.You ignore the help and concerns of loved ones.
One thing I can not do is accept help. I find it hard to ask for real life favors and advice thinking I will owe someone something or they will later throw it in my face. So instead I bottle it up. Well News flash Maria! It’s okay to not be okay! It's okay to ask for help, and to those who rub their assistance in your face. You cut them off! But to those who are trying to help you through anything, cherish them and accept their helping hand.